He Is All I Have
by Bamboloccia
Summary: One shot. Jane tells Kurt how she feels about her brother.


_This is a short one shot. I kept on having the word's "He is all I have" come in my head every time I see Roman and Jane. Their bond is truly amazing, I hope you like it_

 _Love,_

 _Daniela_

* * *

 _All of these lines across my face_

 _Tell you the story of who I am_

 _So many stories of where I've been_

 _And how I got to where I am_

 _But these stories don't mean anything_

 _When you've got no one to tell them to…_

 _It's true... I was made for you_

 _Brandi Carlile -"The Story"_

 ** _He Is All I Have_**

"Every time we get close to something, it just slips through my fingers." Those words were as true now as they were back then. Back then before this mess. Before she was Taylor Shaw. Before Sandstorm. Before Oscar. Before her betrayal. Before everything, and anything.

But now, with all the fragments of her past that she understood, when was she ever close to anything? She was a slave in her childhood, and then probably brainwashed in her adolescence to believe a figure that was supposed to resemble a mother. Her mother. She never really had anything concrete to hold onto. Nothing to ground her. Nothing now, and nothing then. That is — until she found and remembered Roman.

"Get in!" The the large man spat. He and another man equal his size threw a bloodied Jane and Kurt into the damp darkly lit cell. They were both muscular men. They were easily a foot a foot taller and two times wider than Kurt or Jane. The men were shaved bald, had matching white soot-stained tank tops, and tatted sleeves.

The door shook the room as the muscled man slammed the door behind them. They could hear the rustling of the keys, as he locked the door from the other side.

Jane coughed, as she wiped the blood from the side of her mouth. She looked up at Kurt, and could almost feel the heat of his anger. The side of his eyebrow was cut, and his blood trickled down the side of his face. He wiped the blood on the bottom of his cheek, looked at it momentarily before banging the side of his fist into the concrete wall.

They had been captured, and he had no idea of how to get out. It was an undercover mission that went wrong. Extremely wrong. Now he and Jane would become prisoners of the men they were trying to take down.

Jane looked at Kurt, as she tried to figure out what to say. She didn't know what to do either. She had ran out of ideas a long time before he did. She breathed in deep, and could only muster a few words, "Let me give you my shirt….for your eye."

"I'm fine Jane," Kurt said blatantly, as he wiped his cheek again. This time he wiped the blood on his ripped pants. He didn't even want to recognize Jane's offer.

"It's just a shirt Kurt. I have a tank top underneath anyway," Jane said, as she started to pull her dirty shirt off. She grimaced in pain as she pulled her arms out of the sleeves. Once the shirt was off she looked back at Kurt and held it in front of him. Kurt only glanced at her momentarily before he excepted it. He wouldn't admit it, but it broke his ego a little bit. He literally was excepting 'a shirt off her back'. His shoulder's relaxed as he placed her shirt over the cut above his eye. Her shirt was damp from sweat, but he didn't mind. It smelt nice. It smelt like her— another thing he would never admit.

He understood more about why Jane betrayed him, but the sting was still there. He had loved her deeply, and he struggled with the love he still felt for her. The thing was he knew that the love was still there, but the trust was gone. It had taken him forever to trust in someone again. He built up so many walls, and so many barricades. He built them so he wouldn't get hurt again. He had sworn to himself that after what his father did, he would never let anything like that happen to him again.

He never fully trusted Ally, and that's why they had so many problems. He enjoyed Nas' company, but the both of them, even if they wouldn't acknowledge it, had the same trust issues. He saw the end to that relationship from the start, however, he held out hope that it might work out. He wanted to feel what he felt with Jane, but that feeling was irreplaceable.

When he met Jane, It was different. He always had said he was "too choosy" , but the moment he met Jane something clicked. She was different. He could never pinpoint exactly what it was, but they complimented each other. He let her in, and like before he was lied to and used. So, he built his walls even higher, however, he never fixed his underlying problems. He still was that same little boy who's father killed his best friend. The higher walls didn't help the fact that he was loosing it. He was confused what to believe, whom to trust, and what he should feel. He needed a starting point.

Kurt looked back at Jane and grunted a short "Thank you."

"Your welcome," Jane replied, as she slowly inched closer to Kurt. She sat to his side a comfortable foot away. She still knew her boundaries. She leaned over and let her hands rest on her knees. "What are we going to do?" She sighed as she coughed once more.

"I don't know," Kurt confessed. "Let's just hope that Patterson finds us before they kill us." Kurt looked over to Jane. He meant to look give her a reassuring smile, but he caught a glimpse of her back. It was covered in scars, a deep one ran through 'Weller' on the tattoo 'Kurt Weller FBI'. Jane usually kept herself covered in long sleeves, now he knew why.

The three months of Jane's torture in the CIA black site became a little more clear to him in that moment. He knew that those three months existed, and what probably happened to her. He just built a wall around that idea too, because he knew it was his fault. Her being taken without any explanation. In his weakest moments he succumbed to his anger and was too furious and drunk to stop them from taking her away. He thought if he didn't think about what he had done, or what happened to her, he wouldn't feel so much pain. Seeing her back made all that hidden and guarded pain rush back to him. It hit him like a wall of bricks.

"What did they do to you?" Kurt asked. He took Jane's shirt off of his eye momentarily, so he could see her more clearly.

Jane looked at him with confusion. Her eyebrows lowered as she replied, "You saw what they did to me. You were there."

"No Jane. I didn't mean now. I meant in the CIA black site. I can see your scars." Kurt said as he put the shirt back on his eye.

Jane leaned back quickly onto the wall so she could hide her back from Kurt's visual view. She was embarrassed. The scars were a reminder to her of who she was as Remy, and what she had done as Jane. So had made so many bad choices, and she wore those scars as a secret reminder of them.

"You don't want to know Kurt. Trust me," Jane replied as she looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. She didn't want to think about those months, and she hoped that Kurt would get the hint. He didn't.

"How did you do it?" Kurt inquired.

With those five words, all of what happened rushing back. The pain that she had placed so deep inside her conscience, and hoped to erase, couldn't be hidden anymore. The unbearable pain increased, as she still tried desperately to push it back inside. "Pain is a dream. Pain is a dream," Jane recited subconsciously.

"How did you do it, Jane?" Kurt asked, this time his question felt more like a demand.

Jane aware of Kurt's increasing request surrendered and answered his question, "I remembered my training. Roman trained me before I came here — to the FBI."

"Roman… So he tortured you too." Kurt said, as he let out a small chuckle in surprised amusement.

"You know Kurt," Jane shot back "You, Nas, and the rest of the team don't understand. I was raised in an environment where you had to be strong to survive. I protected my brother, and he protected me. I protected him in my way…and he protected with his ways. We protected each other. It might be different then how other siblings protect each other, but that is what we did. Now I can't protect him anymore! I can't help him! Now I have to protect a country I planned to take down. Now the only thing that I have. The only thing I have. The only thing… I can't protect. I can't save him."

"Jane, I know..," Kurt began, but his words were quickly interjected by Jane's.

"You don't know anything. You have a sister, you have a nephew…you have family. I have to give up mine!"

"Jane," Kurt started.

"He is all that I have. He is all that I have Kurt!" Jane shouted. Her fierce face melted as the last few words came out of her mouth. The tears that she had been trying to hold back, came to the surface. She stared into Kurt's eyes, as a tear fell down her face "What am I supposed to do?" she asked.

Kurt stayed silent for a minute. He could understand how Jane felt. He couldn't even imagine having to sacrifice his sister or nephew..even for his country.

"Jane, I'll talk to the team. We'll do all we can to keep Roman safe," Kurt said.

"Promise me. Keep him safe. No matter where I stand right now, I am caught in the crosshairs. My life already has an ending. He doesn't know that," Jane pleaded, as she brushed the tear off from the side of her face.

"Jane your life doesn't have an ending…and neither will Roman's." Kurt replied.


End file.
